again. Not once, but twice. Mother was aghast, and Bob was simply furious. I snatched a lamp from the table and hurled it at him, yelling,

"Hypocrite!"

After that, his parents said he was too good to marry me. They declared that I was absolutely insane.

Mother, Beth and Hal called a family council. They threatened to send me to a mental sanitarium unless I'd forget about Jan, and would attempt to live what they called "a normal life."

By this time I was beginning to show definite signs of pregnancy. My sister was having fits. Mother seemed afraid of her own shadow. She pleaded with Bob's folks to let him marry me, at least in name only, to give my baby a legal status. They were afraid that the truth about Bob being the baby's father would leak out. And to avoid a scandal they consented to the marriage. They did. But I didn't. Such a farce would only make a bad situation worse.

Beth drove me inland to Salinas to a doctor who didn't know us. Beth told him my name was Mrs. Ben Stanley, a name she made up.

The doctor said the baby was due in about three months.

"You're in excellent condition," he said. "But to avoid any complications I want you to come in every now and then for check a up." Of course I never went back.

9.9

Mother could not force me to marry Bob. I said if she sent me to an asylum, well okay, I'd have my baby born there. But that seemed-very unfair to the baby.

I suppose Mother thought she could hide me away, for the time being at least. She, Beth and Hal made sure that no one saw me. I felt like a prisoner.

I'll never forget the insistent cry of a sea gull the night the first warning pains spurred me into action. 74

I put on my long coat and crept out the back door. I walked over what seemed to be acres of white sand, gleaming in the moonlight. The twisted green cypress trees appeared jet black, and assumed weird gnomelike shapes as I kept driving myself on. Where? I didn't know where I was going. Just away!

Then-hardly feeling as if this was really me, turned from the thundering ocean toward a rambling mission-styled house of adobe brick painted glistening white. Fragrant red roses rambled over the archways, and scarlet bougainvillea climbed along the roof. It was a house seen in a dream. And like a dreamer has no inhibitions, I too felt free. Suddenly free to seek shelter in that house.

I don't remember how close to the door I actually came. But I felt a sharp pain, and a quick scream leaped from my lips. I knew I was falling... falling.. and then I remembered nothing at all.

Later, I learned I had tripped over a potted plant and tumbled to the ground, screaming as I fell.

The owner of that house was named Granger Macy. He was in his early forties. Much, much older than 1. He lived there with his widowed sister, a quiet, plump, brown-haired home-body type. Her name was Mary Parker. She was the first person I saw when I opened my eyes in the clean-smelling, crisp-sheeted bed in their guest room.

"There, there, youngster," Mary comforted. "We'll do no prying. You're safe here. Just you rest. My brother's gone for a doctor."

I really felt safe... Strange as it was, not even knowing where I was, I felt safe!

When he arrived, Dr. Proctor, our family doctor, was surprised to find that I was the "unknown girl" Granger had brought him to help.

"Melba," Dr. Proctor said, frowning, "Why didn't you come to me earlier?"